Cat Tales - Eau de Toilette

I just looked in the toilet. I know, TMI, but this gets even better.

I saw what I thought was mold around the waterline. I thought this was strange. I just scrubbed it this weekend. I grabbed the toilet cleaner and brush, leaned in get a better look. That "mold" was a bunch of little muddy kitty paw prints.

Gross! What the hell. I've never heard of this. But apparently it is quite common. Just Google "cat drinks from toilet" and check out the images. I love this one. This one too.

Here's what concerns me. We desert dwellers have a saying, "if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down."

90% of the time, our toilet is "mellowing," in order to conserve water. I wonder if this will damage the cat. They say a cats mouth is the most filthy thing in the world. This is probably why.

It made me think of this movie I saw when I lived in England years ago. We were on a family trip in Illfracomb, a beach town on the coast. Typical, it was raining. England has something like 4 TV channels so, nothing was on. My brother and I settled on this French (or English? i can't remember), movie about a man and a woman (maybe he was French, she was English) in this erotically dysfunctional relationship. The woman has reached her break point and is leaving him. He begs her to stay, professing his deep love for her. She denies, says he's lying. To prove his love, he drinks her urine out of the bedpan. We nearly hucked our crumpets.

i reckon this is another proof point of Anton's deep love for us, even though it's a really fu..-ed-up way of showing it. In a way, I return this love by scooping out his kitty litter every week. That is both urine and feces so, I think love's scale is balanced on this one.

Cat Tales

I got a kitty cat for mother’s day. I’ve not posted anything yet because when you adopt a pet from the Humane Society, you have to temper the desire to form a gushing bond until it’s obvious your pet has adopted you. (Cats are known to just re-runaway).

I knew Anton was ours forever when he saw me taking a nap. Decided to do the same. Jumped on the bed, crawled across my head, then stuck his ass in my face while he found a comfortable spot where he could snug down right next to my nose.

Anton is a Russian Blue cat. We named him after Anton Chekhov. Our former pet, a black cat named Poe, died last year. So in a way, we’re paying homage to her by adopting a silly “famous writers” theme for naming our pets.

I also like to think of Anton as Anton Chigurh:

Anton Chigurh is an emotionless, compassionless killing machine. His inability to comprehend human life is matched only by his ability to take it, as he does with ruthless abandon throughout the running of No Country For Old Men.

My Anton isn’t this mean. But he’s not milquetoast either. He bit me the first time we met. This might be why he had the longest running sentence at the Humane Society. He likes to stand at the top of the stairs and when you switch back to the the second flight, he waits for you to get in his sight line then swats at your head with ruthless abandon.

Like this:


I’ll take him! I thought. He’ll fit right in. The Johnson household could use a little moxie.

Stranded on a Desert Island

Picture kids and lots of toys. Pure bliss!

Then: "You can't take all that with you! Pick three toys. That's it!"

Panic! Frantic indecisiveness. Then silent, deep introspection. Decision. Retraction. Decision. Satisfaction.

Now, try this with adults. Instead of toys, it's bands.

If stranded on a desert island, what three bands would you listen to?

It's the same reaction! Only adults argue and act more like kids than kids!

How long will I be on this island?
What if my mood changes, can I rotate weekly?
Can I pick three for per music category? Indie, metal, punk?
If I pick Eric Clapton can I have Derek and the Dominos,Cream and The Yardbirds too? In which case, i get Jimmy Page, and Led Zeppelin too, right?

Sheesh!

So, I'm setting up my blog's first tag: Desert Island Picks

I reckon one day this will turn into the most eclectic and comprehensive list of best of the best bands ever.


Collin's top 3 desert island picks - May 29, 2008 (just today though, cause he might be in a different mood tomorrow).

The Eels
The Matches
Rancid

optional 4th (hoping this one floats in while stranded) - Drop Kick Murphys

Best quote "I'd rather suck ocean water than pick U2"

Hi, my name is Gig and I'm a Luddite

Today goofing around with Micq at Barnes and Noble, we ran into an old friend of hers. His name is Gig. For real. Well, I didn't ask really, I assumed that it was his real name, it could be a nick name, but still, he's called Gig.

So, introductions are made, idle chat ensues. And, somewhere in all that he professes to be a Luddite. I think it started cause i lost the back of my blackberry at some nightclub in Vegas, so my battery is being held inside the device with a rubber band.

Anyway, this is unfathomable. How can someone named Gig be a Luddite.

So, we decided that Gig needs to start a 12-step-type program to help tech-addicts eliminate technology from their lives. What would the steps be?

So far, we came up with:

Rule One of Luddite Club: Don't talk about Luddite Club

Rule two: When you must get words to paper, say: "Take Dictation." This requires that you have an entourage that would actually do this for you. See Rushmore for how it's properly done.

That's about as far as we got cause we couldn't decide how far back in time we would go. Can I have TV? can I rent Rushmore? doIi at least get a pager?

I can tell you one thing. Once they ruled out iPods and HBO, i started to get the shakes.

P.S. You Rock My World

It's Saturday. I'm grounded to my house until i get it clean. I've been traveling and working a lot lately and have seriously neglected my share of the responsibilities around here. The toilet in "my bathroom" has a moldy ring around it. I thought of posting a pic, and then thought better not.

I hate cleaning. You're body is busy, so your mind is left to do what it wants. It's like being stuck in therapy all day long, but the therapist is yourself. It's like that scene in Being John Malkovich when John goes into the portal to his head and everyone there is John Malkovich and he freaks out. I've always maintained that if you met yourself in real life, you wouldn't like you.

To escape the mental din, i made a massive playlist of music. And i forgot how much i love the Eels. They're lyrics are so quirky and profoundly real.

this is my favorite one. It saved my day:

"P.S. You Rock My World"

I was at a funeral the day i realized
I wanted to spend my life with you
Sitting down on the steps at the old post office
The flag was flying at half mast
And i was thinking 'bout how
Everyone is dying
And maybe it is time to live

I don't know where we're going
I don't know what we'll do

Walked in to the thrif-tee
Saw the man with the hollow eyes
Who didn't give me all my change
But it didn't bother me this time
'cause i know i've only got
This moment
And it's good
I went to the gas station
Old woman honked her horn
Waiting for me to fix her car

I don't know where we're going
I don't know what we'll do

Laying in bed tonight i was thinking
And listening to all the dogs
And the sirens and the shots
And how a careful man tries
To dodge the bullets
While a happy man takes a walk

And maybe it is time to live

Today I'm wearing the same jeans for the third time in a row.

No reason really.

I went on three trips in April, and am still living out of a few suitcases, so it might be because i couldn't find anything else to wear.

Although, that's not entirely true, i have a lot of jeans. You know how you have to be in a certain mood for certain jeans? Monday i was in the mood for these jeans, and Tuesday i couldn't be bothered to change my mood, and, now it's Wednesday and I've established momentum. So, i can't stop here.

I've got momentum without a source of motivation. Maybe this is what they mean by living in the moment. You just learn to stop evaluating what mood your in to match your jeans all the time. Wear the same damn jeans all the time and just live.

If you do this, be sure you have superfabulous jeans. My choice this week are my Taverniti So jeans. The only pair of jeans i have ever splurged on. Once you start dabbling in the $100 + price point for jeans, it can go downhill fast. Soon, you won't even wince at plunking $599 for a pair. This is momentum i will refrain from establishing until i build up the momentum needed to push me into another income bracket. Maybe that is why i keep wearing these Taverniti jeans. I gotta get my money's worth.

Can I have a little Sugar with my Ray Leonard?

Growing up LDS, there was a lot of oration on the importance of avoiding canoodling with the opposite sex. It undoubtedly leads to sex before marriage. The Church, as well as most adolescent-oriented, sex-abstinence teaching material, used petting as the preferred moniker for this kind of activity. For some reason, it was always qualified with the same adjectives used to describe syrup in canned peaches.

"Avoid HEAVY petting." (it's even a movie!!!)
"Avoid LIGHT petting." (a perplexing, but probably common scenario for goody-goodies)

Today, 15 years removed. The familiar monikers long forgotten. My friends and I reminisced the old lectures. I instantly visualized entangled boxers fighting the good fight, tired, nearly ready to surrender and I thought: hey! where do we stand on MIDDLEweight petting?

i thought it was funny, and a good loophole for those that live by the letter instead of the spirit of the law.