DSM plus a pinch of sugar cooked for 10 minutes at 85 degrees makes some DIN

micquelle: hey stranger

Amie: howd you get online? does the corp have a hole in the ole fire wall?

micquelle: oh we don't care about that shiz here

micquelle: i have everything

micquelle: rhapsody, pandora, FB, YIM, trIlion, itunes...

micquelle: however, currently I'm unable to login to the server, can't print to the color machine and have to reboot to fix a license recovery bug in my INDD. Nice.

Amie: huh? that is why you're never on IM?

Amie: i never see you

micquelle: i'm on every day

micquelle: s. and i use it here in the office

micquelle: it auto boots when i turn on my machine

Amie: so why don't i ever see you? that is weird

Amie: you're not on my list

Amie: micquelle

Amie: do you think i'm insane

micquelle: maybe

micquelle: send me another request

Amie: for sanity

Amie: may I have sanity?

Amie: i think i have you added now

Amie: i meant the insane thing for reals

micquelle: oh, well, i don't know. i bought a DSM over the weekend at an estate sale...we can check

Amie: what is a DSM

Amie: is that a time machine

micquelle: yeah. a time machine. and i'm still here? i don't think so.

Amie: i'm hot today

micquelle: It is the bible of diagnosis for the psychiatric profession

micquelle: me, too. i'm never going to make it through summer. i thought i was going to self-imolate yesterday

Amie: self imolate?

Amie: does the DSM have quizzes

micquelle: how about spontaneously combust? kind a the same thing.

micquelle: no quizzes.

micquelle: that's Psychiatry for Dummies.

Amie: okay, i just looked up self immolate

Amie: i can't breath

Amie: i'm laughing

Amie: too hard

Amie: can't type

micquelle: it wasn't really the right phrase, but you get the idea.

micquelle: hey, wanna be on the PR committee for Juvenile Diabetes Foundation?

Amie: sure

Amie: i like sugar

Amie: it's all i've eaten so far today

Amie: apple sauce and OJ

micquelle: really?

Amie: really

micquelle: i'll let them know.

Amie: about my menu for the day, or that i'll be on the club

micquelle: the club

micquelle: board

micquelle: whatever

Accomplish without a plan - Tao of the day

My favorite part of my job is planning. (She said with wicked sarcasm)

Truth. I am good at *parts* of planning. I love the brainstorming. And I often wish, when things pan out, I was chewing on a cigar so I could say "I love it when a plan comes together."

I am NOT good at the planning parts of planning. Meaning the charts and graphs that show project phases, status updates, and time lines. Just tell me what the due date is, and I will deliver (approximately). To me, a big project is an iterative process that evolves constantly, so once it's on paper, it's old. New ideas enter, or the strategy changes, or it turns into something completely different. Do you want to spend your time updating your plan, or executing on the project so you can get to that cigar?

This works alright when you're employed by a small company of agile individuals willing to trust without knowing the exact details of how, or when they will receive something worth chewing a cigar over. (Well, somewhat willing to trust. I can think of a few that didn't much like my modus operandi. You put up with it though. Thanks.)

Well, darn it. Wouldn't you know that now I am on the receiving end of what it was like to work with me? I can't even do the fun stuff of planning, the researching and brainstorming. I'm in the dark. I wish someone would invent a jump drive that I could plug into a cranium portal, either your ear hole or nostril, you pick (ha ha) and download *the vision.*

"Touche!" my mother would say, "the universe is teaching you a lesson."

Well, the plan is due tomorrow. I'm frustrated with the old me, and thinking, what would I have done if I used to work with the old me? At frustrating times like this, I pull out the pocket Tao te Ching and read the first verse I see when I open it. Check it out:

73
The Tao is always at ease.
It overcomes without competing,
answers without speaking a word,
arrives without being summoned,
accomplishes without a plan.

Its net covers the whole universe.
And though its meshes are wide,
it doesn't let a thing slip through.

Whoa! There's the plan! Now all I need to do is slap this thing onto a PowerPoint presentation with some bullets and I'm good to go with my plan for 2010!

2010 Communications Plan
- Win market awareness by focusing our communications on why we help customers vs. just proving how we are different from our competitors
- Use innovative communication methods to convey how we answer to customer needs
- Let our desire to answer customer needs summon our path, don't let industry noise carve our activities
- Communicate our message to the whole universe - cast a wide net
- If everyone knows about us, nothing can slip by us

Phew, i feel so at ease now!

Tree art - part one

I scanned a painting BSJ did of a tree. The original image is in vivid color, but I find it interesting how my inability to use our snappy new scanner/copier at work made a completely different image from the original.

It just goes to show that art does not emerge from a vacuum. Creativity isn't synonymous with unique. Art comes from one's ability to make interesting combinations.

This is reassuring because there is a lot of pressure for humans to be unique in all the world. We must come up with original ideas to identify ourselves, otherwise we won't stand out, or shine.

True creativity is how clever you are at observing and combining everything around you into something interesting.

For this reason, I am trying to get out of my head more often to have a looksie at what's around. You'd be surprised at the amount of material out there for creating fantastic art.

Laugh for today

New Yorker cartoons span the humor landscape. I reckon a psychologist could do a personality assessment of someone just based on their favorite New Yorker cartoons.

For me, some cartoons are just mediocre, some go right over my head, some are just too silly to be funny, and some are just so damn funny the moment I see them I wonder what is wrong with me.

This cartoon by Sam Gross made me laugh so much I don't need to do ab work at the gym today. And I can't really explain why I think it's so funny. I must get the Custom Boxed Cartoon Note Cards from the New Yorker Store.

Ivan’s stress assessment theory proven during episode of insomnia

Between 2 and 4 am is a strange window of time when I've had just enough sleep to feel physically rested, but not enough to feel mentally reset. I've tried all sorts of techniques to go back to sleep. Many friends have recommended their tactics. I now just give in, and do the one thing physicians don't recommend; I grab my iPhone from under my pillow and start reading the headlines.

Today it was the Telegraph UK's slide show of the World's Weirdest Festivals. Alas, my poor husband is not immune to my insomnia and has to bare with me while I read to him some of the strangest, most idiotic stuff I've ever heard. It went something like this:


Amie: The Testicle Festival - Over 21’s only. Around 6,500 people are expected to attend the 27th annual Testicle Festival at Rock Creek Lodge in Montana. It's a strictly adults-only affair, as although the festivities revolve around the theme of eating bull’s testicles, or ‘Rocky Mountain Oysters', visitors should expect oil wrestling, wet t-shirt competitions and lots of public nudity; 'No Panty Wednesday' sees punters offered a free drink in exchange for their underwear.

BSJ: What a bunch of idiots. Who wants to be naked around people you wouldn't even talk to on a bus.

Amie: Noche de Rábanos (Night of the Radishes) - In the 16th century, after radishes were brought to the Americas, vegetable sellers used to make sculptures of radishes to advertise in the markets. Since 1897 the custom has been celebrated with an annual festival, with the best sculptors awarded cash prizes.

BSJ: Carved out of radishes? like in salads?

Amie: Räbechilbi Turnip Festival - Over twenty tonnes of carved turnips and fifty thousand candles are displayed in this Swiss festival celebrating the humble turnip. The event includes parades of illuminated houses and plenty of music and entertainment.

BSJ: more vegetables

Amie: Boryeong Mud Festival - First staged in 1998, the Boryeong Mud Festival now attracts more than a million visitors to the South Korean city. Said to be rich in minerals, the mud for the festival is trucked in to Daecheon Beach for tourists and locals to enjoy.

BSJ: snoring

Amie: The Baby Jumping Festival - First staged in 1620, this strange event celebrating Corpus Christi sees grown men dressed as the Devil leaping over a row of babies lying in the street.

BSJ: (yelling like someone just tore off one of his fingernails) That is bullshit. That isn't true. What the Fu-no way! (Amie shows picture). What if he trips? Do you know what a 150 pound guy could do to a baby? What a bunch of F*#king idiots. I'd rather eat sheep balls in Montana with a bunch of ugly naked asses.

****

This blog post helps illustrate Ivan's stress assessment tool for better life balance. You see, life can be very sensational. It's hard to determine when it's appropriate to freak out, or just be cool.


Ivan works in the IT support department for a small company. He sees way more unnecessary freaking out than the average person. He has witnessed me melt down the night before "the biggest day of my career." It was in a lifeless, San Francisco-based, hotel-board-room-turned-temporary-corporate-HQ. Hovering over my laptop like it was a sick baby, I said, with the most hideous, trying-to-be-calm tone, "it just won't turn on."

I was freaked. He was cool. He pushed a button. The computer turned on. I know what you're thinking: ID10T


Years later, I ask. What's the secret? Turns out he kinda had this epiphany one day. What's most important? Babies. If babies are being hurt, then do some freaking, otherwise, be cool.


So, anytime your cortisol levels start to rise, ask yourself: are any babies being hurt?


And now we know this works. Cause your cortisol levels really do rise if you're half asleep and hear wind of any tomfoolery festival that puts baby's lives at stake like a bunch of bowling pins waiting for a dumb ass to strike.

The view of the Arno is yours.

Dear readers (AKA Amie's small group of highly esteemed friends whom I wish I could hang out with all the time if I didn't have a damn mortgage).

If you haven't read the book, or seen the movie, "A Room With A View." Please do in May, 2009. Even if you have read, or seen this movie. Do it again. In May.

It's important. I can't explain why. It might have something to do with this line from the film:

I have a pet theory about Miss Honeychurch. Is it not odd that she should play Beethoven with such passion and live so quietly? I suspect that one day...
...music and life will mingle.

How do you like your eggs?

Eggs in a basket circa 1973.

















David Lynch style.
















Like they were made in Nigella's kitchen.

The TP Report on Tissue - part 2

If you've followed thus far, you'll recall the first TP Report on Tissue detailed how to prepare for your inevitable role as shoulder to cry on. In part two, and last of this series, we'll focus on the TP, the toilet paper.

After the incident in part 1, I left the office to check into the Omni Parker House Hotel in Boston. Tired and puffy-eyed, I knew my aura looked less-than-stellar when there was universal agreement among the check-in staff when I requested a room far, far away from the elevators.

"They make a lot of noise."
"Yes, Ms. Amie, we understand. That shouldn't be a problem."
"Thank you."
"You're so welcome. No problem. No problem at all. Our pleasure."

Then, I walked, and walked and walked down a long, Barton Fink-like corridor toward my room. Entered. Flicked on the light. Dumped my luggage.

"Man I gotta pee!" Flicked on the bathroom light and THIS:



Isn't it beautiful?

In my quandary of hopelessness that bordered on self-loathing, I was saved. By a roll of toilet paper wrapped in a lovely pink ribbon.

The takeaway?

Besides the odd, yet effective way this hotel made me feel like a million bucks. I realized that toilet paper wrapped in a beautiful pink ribbon was the solution what made me cry in part one. I'm in PR. I know how to go the extra mile. I know that sometimes it's not so much the message, it's how the message is delivered. I know this, and still let a project-gone-bad get the better of me, and my attitude.

Whether your starting a new job, or trying to hold onto the job you have while the economy tanks. Now is the time to pull out the stops when it comes to presentation. It is the only thing that differentiates you. It may be even be more important than the actual work. After all, I am talking about Toilet Paper here.

My resolution for 2009? "The Amie PR Campaign." Or, "Rolls and Rolls and lots-o-bows."

Feel good photo of the day

I just really like this picture. It's nice that sock monkeys can have friends too.

TP report on Tissue - part one

I'll have to deliver this concept via a series of posts. I want to (hopefully) convey the details without overwhelming you with details. Both incidences occurred in a matter of hours.

Here's a little bit of "detail Din" on tissue. I'll follow up on toilet paper (TP) Din in the next post. Strange series? Not really if you hear me out on why you should take a lesson from this segment of the TP report on tissue.

Last week. I had a bad chills of stupidity moment at work. Right when I thought I'd contained the awkward juju with no visible evidence of distress, a coworker asked if I was OK. Apparently, I'm not that good at masking stress. I'll spare you the details.

Unruffled, she opened her purse, pulled out a little packet of tissue, then distributed sheets and listened while I soaked them up one by one.

People often ask when speaking in public, "what do i do with my hands?" Great presenters pay attention to the details. It never occurred to me that the same is true when listening to someone blubber too. You will never avoid this experience in your life. So go buy a packet of pocket tissues for you and your friends this holiday season.

Think carrying tissue is awkward? I can hear it now:

"Guys don't carry tissues!" (This is probably why guys also have a reputation for being insensitive.)
"Tissues are for blue-haired grannies!"

Take a queue from the fashionably forward grrls and fellas who carry fabulous handbags, kewl urban backpacks, and streamlined messenger bags and accessorize with a packet of tissues to suite your style. This site has the gamut!


I might get a set this set to match my iPhone decal.












Go neutral. Get a Swiss pack!












Make someone laugh with these monkeys!

Notes from the Moleskine

I carry a notebook all the time. Usually it's a Moleskine. I like the back pocket for stuff.

I mainly use it to write down reminders, grocery lists, packing lists, ideas and random stuff I don't want to forget. Sometimes my friends are guest authors. That's always interesting. Some of my notebooks even have prize-winning poetry. I'll post one someday.

It takes approximately 3 months to fill a notebook, so when I read an old notebook, a significant amount of context goes missing. Sometimes I can't even distinguish my own handwriting. Nothing is dated, or attributed. It's a mess. I just found these random bits of Din from an old notebook. Could be from me, could be something I overheard, who knows?

Consistency can be your vice if you don't watch out.

Interesting. Kinda like another way of saying, "you're in a rut."

Ivan eats his bananas upside down

Ivan? Do you remember why I wrote this?

So, I said, "I'll have another." But that part of the story doesn't matter. What I want to say is, "there isn't enough love, and there is too much not giving."

Probably shouldn't have had another.

"What is it with the short people here, it's like bonsai bartender."

That looks like an "overheard in the bar" comment.

Sometimes its not that you made the RIGHT decision. It's that you MADE a decision.

That's not bad advice. I bet it's not mine.

A lesson on spin

I received decent advice today. If you don't have the resources, authority or ability to fix everything that is chaotic about the current situation, don't give in to paralysis. Focus on the change you can affect and blow through it like a tornado.

Even small tornadoes can cause chaos. And chaos brings opportunity. So, I owe it to myself to stir it up. This is motivating. Much better than being stuck at dysfunction junction.

Eclecticpop Mix

I've been in desperate need for new tune suggestions. Thankfully, while in Boston this week, my colleague's husband took pity on me and sent one of his playlists. I've replicated most his list in Rhapsody (Rhaps is great, but they don't have everything).


1. Dictionary - The Go Find
2. I Turn My Camera On - Freshro
3. Wish Coin (Go It Alone) (Diplo Remix) - Beck
4. Wrap It Up - Whitey
5. Lights & Music - Cut Copy
6. Future - Cut Copy
7. Saturdays (LP Version) - Cut Copy
8. Ice Cream - New Young Pony Club
9. Seat Yourself (Diplo Remix) - Roots Manuva
10. Big Lost - Diplo
11. Sarah - Diplo
12. Breathe Me - SiA
13. Young Folks - Peter Bjorn and John
14. Young Folks (Rhapsody Original) - Peter Bjorn and John
15. D.A.N.C.E. [Album Version] - Justice (electro)
16. Untrust Us - Crystal Castles
17. Blood On Our Hands - Justice Remix -
18. Shining Escalade - Hot Chip
19. Paper Planes - M.I.A.
20. Skanky Panky - Kid Koala
21. Restless (Featuring Josh Homme) - U.N.K.L.E.
22. What It's All About - Girl Talk
23. Play Your Part (Pt. 1) - Girl Talk
24. Gold Lion (Diplo Remix) - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
25. Together In Electric Dreams - Le Vicarious Bliss Pop Experience

Listen here with Rhapsody

McSweeney's Lists

I love to read the lists on McSweeney's. This one by Spencer Green, really makes me laugh. I occasionally spend time reading my spam filter. It's so impudent. I reckon, the collection of these pesky e-mails accurately articulates the perception the rest of the work has about Americans. It's not that far off. I once thought I could loose 15 pounds by eliminating the muck in my intestines.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in My Spam Box

BY SPENCER GREEN

- - - -

I am an average American.

The average credit score of an average American is 608.

I have a house mortgage.

I gamble—poorly—but want to do better.

I want to lose weight.

I'm holding between 25 and 30 pounds of fat in my intestines.

I dig Christian singles.

My perfect match is waiting for me somewhere in my hometown.

I could find her this week.

I want to start a home business and start making real money.

Easy work and great pay always go together.

Earning potential, unlike money, is unlimited.

The best things in life—meaning expensive electronics like BlackBerrys and MacBook Airs—are free.

For most things in life, only my confirmation is needed.

I want to learn magic and/or hypnosis to attract health, love, money, and to get revenge (the good kind).

There is always another last chance.

Qualifying for and winning awards doesn't require anything—least of all knowing they exist.

Amazing secrets are hidden by nothing more than a mouse click.

I have two friends, Maureen and Angie, who talk about me daily.

Approval is guaranteed.

I admit it...

I've been a bit blue lately. It took me a week to realize that I just might be having serious withdrawal. THIS movie scene has been playing in my mind over and over (I can't believe i found it!) After a thorough daydream analysis, I have deduced that the Baby in this scene represents my friends at a place that starts with "B" where I used to spend a lot of time. In the daydream analysis, I represent the crook on the left. Cause he's such a dork! So excited about what he's got until he realizes what he's left behind. Only, I'm not going to race back to the baby. I'm just screaming. I miss you guys!

Ivan the Stinky Hurricane

When I started this blog, I hoped to document the poignant parts of life. Discuss politics, religion, green living, useful life management techniques, practical business advice, recipes, smart dressing, etc.

I have achieved none of the above. I don't post regularly. I don't write posts that build upon a theme. I don't categorize anything. I don’t comment on other blogs. I don't ask questions to engage readers. I don't have readers. I don't have a blog theme. This really has become The Din. It’s pure drivel.

The thing is, I just kinda like the daily filler. The side dishes. The stuff that is so good, it’s forgettable. It makes all day long better.

This random bit of IM Din is good if you need an idea for a gangster name, a hero name, or a band name:


Ivan: i'm trying to come up with good gangster names. The only one i have so far is
Ivan: jimmy the foot
Amie: that doesn't really scare the crap out of me
Ivan: hahaha
Ivan: should it?
Amie: jimmy the contagious foot?
Amie: like you know how people freak over athletes foot
Ivan: gangrenous foot?
Amie: that works
Ivan: i always think of the random names i've heard
Ivan: tommy the chin
Amie: how about Ivan the terrible
Amie: doh! that one is taken
Ivan: ivan the terrible is taken!
Amie: ivan the horrible
Amie: ivan the stinky
Ivan: LOL
Ivan: stinky! oh no!
Ivan: ivan the horrible
Amie: i reckon your first name could go with anything, that is what is cool about being named ivan
Amie: IVAN THE HURRICANE
Ivan: nice
Amie: that is taken damn
Ivan: that's a good one.
Ivan: taken?
Ivan: taken by what?
Ivan: by the actual hurricate i guess
Amie: si
Ivan: right. i remember. i killed many jamaicans
Amie: Ivan the tropical storm?
Amie: that's not gangster
Ivan: ivan the high pressure weather system.
Ivan: ivan the bastard
Ivan: ivan the purple nurpler
Amie: LOL
Amie: is a purple nurpler a weather event?
Ivan: depends on how powerful it is
Ivan: a very localized weather even
Amie: Ivan the black hole
Ivan: nice
Amie: now i'm beyond weather, i'm getting stellar
Amie: star-like
Ivan: i love it
Ivan: ivan the super nova
Amie: i like
Amie: although, now you sound like a superhero
Amie: not a gangster
Ivan: yeah. i do. i might have to fix that i guess
Ivan: i prefer being a superhero
Amie: me too
Amie: it's nicer
Amie: plus, you get really good looking girlfriends
Ivan: LOL
Amie: gangsters date tramps
Ivan: that's hilarious
Ivan: that's a great band name too
Ivan: gangsters date tramps
Amie: it would be good
Amie: i like
Ivan: i totally like
Amie: see, we're taking care of every category today
Ivan: it has to be done.

eat my hor da vors!

Scott is our "IT Ambassador." This isn't his proper title. I think it's IT Operations Engineer or something that doesn't really say much of anything. Which is why we call him The Ambassador. It's appropriate. Nobody in IT likes working with the marketing department. Not to be confused with liking to "hang" with marketing. "Working with" and "hanging" are not the same. Organizational dynamics always get tweaked when actual work enters the picture.

The Ambassador is a worthy diplomat. He can speak many languages, including marketing, accounting, geek, sr.management and others. He always recommends the best restaurants and likes to coordinate field trips. Like taking us to "The Double Ho” for Dim Sum.

Note on The Double HO. The Ho Ho Gourmet is probably the most filthy, musty stanky place I’ve ever been. It’s not premium Dim Sum, but what can I expect for $5.00 plus tip. I ate chicken feet there. I'm certain I'll never eat chicken feet again. So, me and The Double Ho share a first, and that's special.

To commemorate the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games, Scott walked through cube alley offering commemorative cheese and crackers yelling, “eat my hor da vors.” Nobody partook. Maybe it’s strange to share crackers that have Chinese symbols painted on them with Cheese Whiz. I reckon it’s cause he was serving them from a paper towel instead of a proper serving tray.

Each cracker symbolized what he thought are Olympic messages. But I can’t find any official source that will verify that Big, River, Fire are Olympic. I don't think they mean anything Scott. You're just a Whiz with the Cheese.

Funion Onion

I've been on an Onion kick lately. The good kind. The kind that won't make your breath stink. I work in PR, so I think in headlines a lot. Thinking in Onion headlines is more fun than the drippy stuff I do for work. It is possible to come up with an Onion for almost every situation. Even bad situations. Onions can put life in perspective. No doubt.

The kick started when I (anonymously) printed this story to every printer in the office so random people would stumble upon it. I also sent it via e-mail from subordinates to their bosses (don't ever do this). Just wanted to mix it up a bit. It worked. But not as planned. I am glad forgiveness can be bought with a fish taco plate at Lone Star.

Saturday night I said, "let's play Onion headlines!" The idea was shunned. I persisted. Good times, good times. Mediocre at best, but alas, joi de vivre is found in the journey, not the outcome.

Scrapbooking Industry Declines as Nation Lives in Moment

Fortune Tellers’ Jobless Rate Soars as Nation Lives in Moment

Note on this: my husband is convinced nobody says, “living in the moment.” I hear it every day! Who is correct? (if you say him, he won’t read it. Apparently he is living in isolation ;-)

High Fuel Costs Limit Huffing Gas to Upper Socioeconomic Strata

Area Man Sells Roof to Keep House

Search for Affordable Recreation Drives Masturbation Craze

Now I just need to pen the stories. The last headline will likely be the story with the most street slang.

Multi-Listening, Multi-tasking, Multi-Din

My best friend forever, AKA, BFF, IM'd me today. (That sentence is f#$ked with acronyms.)

I'm glad about IM (she said with a Pollyanna grin). Otherwise, I would rarely talk with my friend, or anyone for that matter. It's well known I don't answer the phone.

With IM, we can chat and muck around on our computers at the same time. Its idiosyncratic quality captures authentic, and hilarious bits of Din.

Thanks BFF for saving this one, we will always share a good laugh over it. Not sure if anyone else will, but we don't care as we know true happiness is beyond the need for approval. We know where to find true happiness, which only well intended readers will learn since it's buried in this conversation.


(4:33:46 PM) BFF: I'M A MEMBER OF SETH GODIN'S NEW "TRIBE!!"
(4:33:52 PM) BFF: :D
(4:41:54 PM) AMIE: shut up
(4:41:58 PM) AMIE: how do you do that?
(4:42:20 PM) AMIE: congrats
(4:42:22 PM) BFF: Today is such a GREAT day for networking!!
(4:42:33 PM) BFF: OMG!
(4:42:33 PM) AMIE: you're cute
(4:42:48 PM) BFF: AGJ, I need astronaut diapers
(4:43:02 PM) BFF: barely contain myself
(4:43:17 PM) BFF: when R U coming to visit!??????????????????????
(4:43:24 PM) BFF: I miss shooting shit with you
(4:43:59 PM) AMIE: i know
(4:44:04 PM) AMIE: when should i come, soon i think
(4:44:07 PM) AMIE: how much are tickets
(4:51:01 PM) AMIE: i can tell you're so happy, what is this group anyway, is it like the inner circle?
(4:51:11 PM) BFF: CLOSED
(4:51:14 PM) BFF: EXCLUSIVE
(4:51:24 PM) BFF: FIRST COMERS
(4:51:35 PM) AMIE: wow
(4:51:53 PM) BFF: At least that's what Seth says (what else do you expect - he's a marketing dude)
(4:52:00 PM) AMIE: true
(4:52:12 PM) BFF: but he's a genius. People are going NUTS in there already
(4:52:25 PM) BFF: The activity is pirahna like
(4:52:42 PM) AMIE: what are they going nuts over?
(4:52:47 PM) AMIE: being there, or over a topic?
(4:53:21 PM) AMIE: dude, does the blog o sphere say anything about how it sucks to try to make a comment on MySpace cause it's a locked thing?
(4:53:25 PM) AMIE: it's very anti social
(4:53:35 PM) BFF: It's all the stuff you can do in the community. Like facebook on steroids but we all have connection to Seth (marketing) as a starting point.
(4:54:02 PM) AMIE: oh, kewl
(4:54:36 PM) BFF: I heard that MySpace is for rich people...which would explain why I'm on Facebook
(4:56:06 PM) AMIE: LOL i wish i was one
(4:56:17 PM) BFF: Money doesn't make you more valuable - no way
(4:56:34 PM) BFF: You are rich...just not with money
(4:57:27 PM) AMIE: hey! funny you should say, i'm reading The Power of Now
(4:57:33 PM) AMIE: you read it?
(4:57:40 PM) BFF: Must look it up...
(4:57:56 PM) AMIE: oprah loves this guy
(4:58:07 PM) BFF: Oh. the Oprah book dude...did the Skype class
(4:58:08 PM) BFF: si.
(4:59:05 PM) AMIE: yes, i'm trying to use the power of positive thinking by listing that i want an iPhone on Facebook
(4:59:12 PM) AMIE: if you list it in the present tense, it might happen
(4:59:14 PM) AMIE: it's not working
(4:59:58 PM) BFF: You know what's great about Gerry's books? They have the same affect - you feel better about yourself - but they're not designed to "teach you" to have that result...not forced. G's books produce that result NATURALLY. That is why everyone is IN LOVE with him. He's all about love, man. Read some of the comments on his blog. IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND
(5:00:20 PM) AMIE: ok
(5:01:08 PM) BFF: the next gen iPhone will be even better....be patient
(5:01:16 PM) AMIE: when is that out?
(5:01:24 PM) BFF: there's always another one
(5:01:26 PM) AMIE: i thought this one was the next gen one
(5:01:30 PM) AMIE: it's 3G
(5:02:03 PM) BFF: the one that will come after 3G
(5:02:14 PM) AMIE: still
(5:02:26 PM) AMIE: i was hping that if i threw it out to the universe, i'd get a free one
(5:02:37 PM) AMIE: trying to use my powers of positive thinking for evil instead of good
(5:02:45 PM) BFF: Now you're talking about the SECRET
(5:02:51 PM) BFF: ;)
(5:03:03 PM) AMIE: oh! i get them all mixed up
(5:03:14 PM) AMIE: it's all the same stuff my mom learned when she went to LifeSpring
(5:03:22 PM) AMIE: variations on a theme
(5:03:24 PM) BFF: You're kidding.
(5:03:27 PM) BFF: really?
(5:03:44 PM) BFF: H always says the greatest ideas are never "new" ones
(5:03:58 PM) BFF: ideas and products
(5:04:06 PM) AMIE: it's true
(5:04:09 PM) BFF: always an iteration of something else
(5:04:12 PM) AMIE: it'a all rehashed material
(5:04:20 PM) BFF: THAT'S WHY SOCIAL MEDIA IS SO COOL
(5:04:21 PM) AMIE: iteration is a better word
(5:04:40 PM) AMIE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lifespring
(5:04:53 PM) BFF: It's an iterative communication process...rehashed...remashed...
(5:05:49 PM) BFF: sad to say I'm old enough to remember the name...
(5:05:59 PM) AMIE: oh
(5:06:00 PM) BFF: :-S
(5:06:03 PM) AMIE: you're not old
(5:06:17 PM) AMIE: i do see your point on the social media thing
(5:06:17 PM) BFF: My birthday present to me is FACE WORK
(5:06:28 PM) BFF: yeah, social media rocketh
(5:07:27 PM) AMIE: what is FACE Work
(5:07:33 PM) BFF: work on my FACE
(5:07:33 PM) AMIE: a new facebook thing?
(5:07:39 PM) AMIE: oh! that kind
(5:07:43 PM) AMIE: holy shit you don't need that
(5:07:45 PM) BFF: like botox or something
(5:07:48 PM) AMIE: dood
(5:07:51 PM) AMIE: whatever
(5:08:02 PM) BFF: i sleep with my face SMASHED into pillow
(5:08:04 PM) BFF: bad
(5:08:14 PM) BFF: I look like playdough in morning
(5:08:27 PM) BFF: remember the red eyes at Catalyst each morning?
(5:08:30 PM) AMIE: uhm, who doesn't?
(5:08:46 PM) BFF: "oh it's the strong laundry detergent the hotel uses on the on the pillowcases."
(5:08:54 PM) AMIE: ok, linked in is not working today
(5:09:13 PM) BFF: no way .... sheesh.
(5:09:24 PM) AMIE: i can't get into my connections
(5:09:44 PM) BFF: dump your cache
(5:09:49 PM) BFF: it's working for me

When truths that are lies become lies that are truths

My iGoogle homepage consists of various news sources: CNET News, USA Today, InfoWorld, Slashdot, The Onion, New York Times and others.

When I log in, I quickly scan the headlines to get a general sense of the news. iGoogle news widgets all look alike. There are no logos indicating the news source, just text of the publication name followed by headlines. Location can help if you were a whiz at Concentration. For example, the upper right corner of my iGoogle is devoted to The Onion. I forget this a lot.

Including The Onion in my daily headline browsing mix is disruptive. I can be gullible. Actually, I’m really gullible. I hate this about myself. So once I’ve been had by The Onion, I tend to over correct. For example, on Mondays, I read every headline as truth, get burned by The Onion, so Tuesday I skeptically read every headline as a lie.

This bi-polar method of headline scanning is iffy. Truths that are lies become lies that are truths.

Here is a list of Today's mixed bag:

McCain has spot of skin removed as precaution
New Linens-N-Shit Opens
Billionaires Donate To Anti-Smoking Drive
MySpace could be flooded by Elvis impersonators
Bush hails Pakistan as strong ally
Textbook Publishers Continue To Freak Out Over File Sharing