A lesson on spin

I received decent advice today. If you don't have the resources, authority or ability to fix everything that is chaotic about the current situation, don't give in to paralysis. Focus on the change you can affect and blow through it like a tornado.

Even small tornadoes can cause chaos. And chaos brings opportunity. So, I owe it to myself to stir it up. This is motivating. Much better than being stuck at dysfunction junction.

Eclecticpop Mix

I've been in desperate need for new tune suggestions. Thankfully, while in Boston this week, my colleague's husband took pity on me and sent one of his playlists. I've replicated most his list in Rhapsody (Rhaps is great, but they don't have everything).


1. Dictionary - The Go Find
2. I Turn My Camera On - Freshro
3. Wish Coin (Go It Alone) (Diplo Remix) - Beck
4. Wrap It Up - Whitey
5. Lights & Music - Cut Copy
6. Future - Cut Copy
7. Saturdays (LP Version) - Cut Copy
8. Ice Cream - New Young Pony Club
9. Seat Yourself (Diplo Remix) - Roots Manuva
10. Big Lost - Diplo
11. Sarah - Diplo
12. Breathe Me - SiA
13. Young Folks - Peter Bjorn and John
14. Young Folks (Rhapsody Original) - Peter Bjorn and John
15. D.A.N.C.E. [Album Version] - Justice (electro)
16. Untrust Us - Crystal Castles
17. Blood On Our Hands - Justice Remix -
18. Shining Escalade - Hot Chip
19. Paper Planes - M.I.A.
20. Skanky Panky - Kid Koala
21. Restless (Featuring Josh Homme) - U.N.K.L.E.
22. What It's All About - Girl Talk
23. Play Your Part (Pt. 1) - Girl Talk
24. Gold Lion (Diplo Remix) - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
25. Together In Electric Dreams - Le Vicarious Bliss Pop Experience

Listen here with Rhapsody

McSweeney's Lists

I love to read the lists on McSweeney's. This one by Spencer Green, really makes me laugh. I occasionally spend time reading my spam filter. It's so impudent. I reckon, the collection of these pesky e-mails accurately articulates the perception the rest of the work has about Americans. It's not that far off. I once thought I could loose 15 pounds by eliminating the muck in my intestines.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in My Spam Box

BY SPENCER GREEN

- - - -

I am an average American.

The average credit score of an average American is 608.

I have a house mortgage.

I gamble—poorly—but want to do better.

I want to lose weight.

I'm holding between 25 and 30 pounds of fat in my intestines.

I dig Christian singles.

My perfect match is waiting for me somewhere in my hometown.

I could find her this week.

I want to start a home business and start making real money.

Easy work and great pay always go together.

Earning potential, unlike money, is unlimited.

The best things in life—meaning expensive electronics like BlackBerrys and MacBook Airs—are free.

For most things in life, only my confirmation is needed.

I want to learn magic and/or hypnosis to attract health, love, money, and to get revenge (the good kind).

There is always another last chance.

Qualifying for and winning awards doesn't require anything—least of all knowing they exist.

Amazing secrets are hidden by nothing more than a mouse click.

I have two friends, Maureen and Angie, who talk about me daily.

Approval is guaranteed.

I admit it...

I've been a bit blue lately. It took me a week to realize that I just might be having serious withdrawal. THIS movie scene has been playing in my mind over and over (I can't believe i found it!) After a thorough daydream analysis, I have deduced that the Baby in this scene represents my friends at a place that starts with "B" where I used to spend a lot of time. In the daydream analysis, I represent the crook on the left. Cause he's such a dork! So excited about what he's got until he realizes what he's left behind. Only, I'm not going to race back to the baby. I'm just screaming. I miss you guys!

Ivan the Stinky Hurricane

When I started this blog, I hoped to document the poignant parts of life. Discuss politics, religion, green living, useful life management techniques, practical business advice, recipes, smart dressing, etc.

I have achieved none of the above. I don't post regularly. I don't write posts that build upon a theme. I don't categorize anything. I don’t comment on other blogs. I don't ask questions to engage readers. I don't have readers. I don't have a blog theme. This really has become The Din. It’s pure drivel.

The thing is, I just kinda like the daily filler. The side dishes. The stuff that is so good, it’s forgettable. It makes all day long better.

This random bit of IM Din is good if you need an idea for a gangster name, a hero name, or a band name:


Ivan: i'm trying to come up with good gangster names. The only one i have so far is
Ivan: jimmy the foot
Amie: that doesn't really scare the crap out of me
Ivan: hahaha
Ivan: should it?
Amie: jimmy the contagious foot?
Amie: like you know how people freak over athletes foot
Ivan: gangrenous foot?
Amie: that works
Ivan: i always think of the random names i've heard
Ivan: tommy the chin
Amie: how about Ivan the terrible
Amie: doh! that one is taken
Ivan: ivan the terrible is taken!
Amie: ivan the horrible
Amie: ivan the stinky
Ivan: LOL
Ivan: stinky! oh no!
Ivan: ivan the horrible
Amie: i reckon your first name could go with anything, that is what is cool about being named ivan
Amie: IVAN THE HURRICANE
Ivan: nice
Amie: that is taken damn
Ivan: that's a good one.
Ivan: taken?
Ivan: taken by what?
Ivan: by the actual hurricate i guess
Amie: si
Ivan: right. i remember. i killed many jamaicans
Amie: Ivan the tropical storm?
Amie: that's not gangster
Ivan: ivan the high pressure weather system.
Ivan: ivan the bastard
Ivan: ivan the purple nurpler
Amie: LOL
Amie: is a purple nurpler a weather event?
Ivan: depends on how powerful it is
Ivan: a very localized weather even
Amie: Ivan the black hole
Ivan: nice
Amie: now i'm beyond weather, i'm getting stellar
Amie: star-like
Ivan: i love it
Ivan: ivan the super nova
Amie: i like
Amie: although, now you sound like a superhero
Amie: not a gangster
Ivan: yeah. i do. i might have to fix that i guess
Ivan: i prefer being a superhero
Amie: me too
Amie: it's nicer
Amie: plus, you get really good looking girlfriends
Ivan: LOL
Amie: gangsters date tramps
Ivan: that's hilarious
Ivan: that's a great band name too
Ivan: gangsters date tramps
Amie: it would be good
Amie: i like
Ivan: i totally like
Amie: see, we're taking care of every category today
Ivan: it has to be done.

eat my hor da vors!

Scott is our "IT Ambassador." This isn't his proper title. I think it's IT Operations Engineer or something that doesn't really say much of anything. Which is why we call him The Ambassador. It's appropriate. Nobody in IT likes working with the marketing department. Not to be confused with liking to "hang" with marketing. "Working with" and "hanging" are not the same. Organizational dynamics always get tweaked when actual work enters the picture.

The Ambassador is a worthy diplomat. He can speak many languages, including marketing, accounting, geek, sr.management and others. He always recommends the best restaurants and likes to coordinate field trips. Like taking us to "The Double Ho” for Dim Sum.

Note on The Double HO. The Ho Ho Gourmet is probably the most filthy, musty stanky place I’ve ever been. It’s not premium Dim Sum, but what can I expect for $5.00 plus tip. I ate chicken feet there. I'm certain I'll never eat chicken feet again. So, me and The Double Ho share a first, and that's special.

To commemorate the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games, Scott walked through cube alley offering commemorative cheese and crackers yelling, “eat my hor da vors.” Nobody partook. Maybe it’s strange to share crackers that have Chinese symbols painted on them with Cheese Whiz. I reckon it’s cause he was serving them from a paper towel instead of a proper serving tray.

Each cracker symbolized what he thought are Olympic messages. But I can’t find any official source that will verify that Big, River, Fire are Olympic. I don't think they mean anything Scott. You're just a Whiz with the Cheese.

Funion Onion

I've been on an Onion kick lately. The good kind. The kind that won't make your breath stink. I work in PR, so I think in headlines a lot. Thinking in Onion headlines is more fun than the drippy stuff I do for work. It is possible to come up with an Onion for almost every situation. Even bad situations. Onions can put life in perspective. No doubt.

The kick started when I (anonymously) printed this story to every printer in the office so random people would stumble upon it. I also sent it via e-mail from subordinates to their bosses (don't ever do this). Just wanted to mix it up a bit. It worked. But not as planned. I am glad forgiveness can be bought with a fish taco plate at Lone Star.

Saturday night I said, "let's play Onion headlines!" The idea was shunned. I persisted. Good times, good times. Mediocre at best, but alas, joi de vivre is found in the journey, not the outcome.

Scrapbooking Industry Declines as Nation Lives in Moment

Fortune Tellers’ Jobless Rate Soars as Nation Lives in Moment

Note on this: my husband is convinced nobody says, “living in the moment.” I hear it every day! Who is correct? (if you say him, he won’t read it. Apparently he is living in isolation ;-)

High Fuel Costs Limit Huffing Gas to Upper Socioeconomic Strata

Area Man Sells Roof to Keep House

Search for Affordable Recreation Drives Masturbation Craze

Now I just need to pen the stories. The last headline will likely be the story with the most street slang.