Monday, June 30, 2008

Spanks a lot


New word: spanks

"That fruit and nut naan bread is so good, it spanks."

It means something is very cool. Replaces the need to use: Rad, killer, money, dope, awsome, etc. I'm giving you a lot of creative lattitude cause I want it to catch on.

Someone I know jumped into a San Diego pedicab with a gaggle of cute girls. Rumor is, there was a spatula-shaped paddle involved and a $21 bet. I took no part whatsoever. I didn't see it. I didn't need to. I got a strong sense of the incident standing 1/2 block away.

You know who you are.

There was a lot of excitement. A LOT. I also got the sense that this is some kind of pedicab shtick, tradition, ritual, whatever. Can someone confirm please?

I am not here to judge. I'd spank some pedicab driver for free. I bet the San Diego pedicab union has to officially vote in a new "safe word," every year. YES I JUST SAID THAT, and no I'm not into that. I am 35 and just learned what that means from a bad joke I heard last month. It's just that the puns are irresistible thanks to this handy list of road biking lingo: roadbikerider.com

apex
bonk
chondromalacia
corncob
echelon
endo
fartlek
hammer
reach
road rash
snakebite
wheelsucker

These safe words SPANK!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

As the party who jumped into the pedicab, I can confirm said spatula incident.

San Diego spanks!

Anonymous said...

As the party that paid $20 of the $21 wager, as well as co-coiner of the term "That spanks!", I'd like to remind all involved that we determined the superlative form of this new phrase to be "That spanks with a spatula". This is to used only in the most extreme circumstances to convey a sense of euphoric awe only encountered in circumstances such as being spanked by hotties in the middle of the street on a pedicab.

As for propagating the use of this term globally, I would say our success is a foregone conclusion. Hey, look at what I did with "Keep On Truckin'" back in '77...

Anonymous said...

I know that you said you would never pay the remaining $1 of the bet, and after consideration of this dastardly act, I have a hypothesis about your defiance.

When the bet was increased to $21 from $20 based on me getting INVITED into the cab versus just jumping in, you must have been saying it in jest. Did you think that 2 hotties in a pedicab was an easy mark for me? I think not. In fact, I bet you were thinking it was as likely as a meteor strike. Well, they did invite me into the pedicab and I experienced the euphoria of "that spanks with a spatula".

I can only pose two likely explanations for the withholding: either you were upset that I did not invite you into the pedicab to experience the euphoria, or you were astounded with my stupidity for getting out of the cab. In either case, I can understand your defiance and therefore forgive the remaining $1.

Anonymous said...

I'm just putting that $1 towards the therapy I will assuredly need for having witnessed those girls getting their spank on with you.

Anonymous said...

As an innocent bistander to the mentioned act I would like you to contribute the $1 to me so I may drink away the memory.

I know $1 can't mask the site, but it is start.

However, that act "spanked with a spactula" not much will top that. Thanks for the bet, it was totally worth it.

flahute said...

a) Hola chica, long time no see.

b) Are you riding now? Trying to figure out why you're paying attention to roadie lingo, and whether or not it's "safe"