I am the Antithesis of Benjamin Franklin - part 1

Matt in the cube next door has a drawer full of mini snickers, licorice, pop tarts, Twix, peeps, jelly beans, granola bars and much much more. (this photo was taken after a fresh trip to WalMart)

Like cows bellying up to the feed trough, we assemble in Matt's cube, long after he's gone, and sift though the food to find the perfect salty, sweet, fruity, or chocolaty fix. We know he doesn't mind our eating his food. It's why he has so much.

Why we wait until he leaves is a mystery. I reckon it's because in any office situation, there is a "give and take" mindset at play. So far, we're just takers.

How is it Matt can have all this next to him all day and not eat it all at once? A jar of peanut butter will not survive more than two days if it's inside the perimeter of my cube.

Matt has none of this in him. He doesn't binge (except pistachios, i learned that over the holidays). He's always calm. One time, something upset him and he said "I'm really mad," and I was thinking, so this is what they are talking about when people overdo it on the Botox, he doesn't get mad face creases, grit his teeth, or get red in the face.

He's industrious. He's efficient. He seems frugal. In fact, while talking this over with my coworker over an entire canister of Lays Cheddar Stax (taken from the drawer, of course), I realized that he is just like Ben Franklin (sans the pot belly and balding pate).

Tipping the plastic canister to my lips to empty the last bits of crushed chip crumbs into my mouth, I took pause. Is this possible? Can someone have all 13 virtues?

So, we looked them up. There are a few here I would rather not speculate upon. However, based on the data I do have, and sensibly guessing the unknowns, I bet he's over 50% virtuous.

I know what you're thinking, "50% is not very much!" Now you just take a good look at these and really think over your life, and pretty soon, you too will start asking for clarification on what "unnecessary" really means, or how can one actually measure "useful." We'll talk next week and see where you stack up. I'm sure it's about as high as the Cheddar Stax I just ate.

1. "TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation."
2. "SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation."
3. "ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time."
4. "RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve."
5. "FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing."
6. "INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions."
7. "SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly."
8. "JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty."
9. "MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve."
10. "CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation."
11. "TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable."
12. "CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation."
13. "HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates."

So, #1.
Temperance.
Where does Amie stack up?

Well, all i can say is use this, this and this current post for reference, and you have your answer.